Remembering

2 years ago today my Grandpa passed away. There are certain things you just remember every year. I don't know why I have to remember this. I was working from home and I knew he had not been doing good. He was in hospice at home and I went and visited him about 5 days before. He looked very frail on his hospital bed and he was very talkative. My Grandpa was always the quiet one. He let my Grandma take over with everything. He told me that he felt very uncomfortable. I rubbed his shoulders and you could just tell he was so tense and he told me that it felt really good. My grandma was like you don't need to do that. I'm like Grandma, if it makes him feel better than I will rub his shoulders until I leave. He told me he will get better, he hoped he would get better. And I tried not to cry and told him that I hoped he would too. But everyone knows what hospice means. So I left that day and today 2 years ago my grandma called me, crying and told me that she thought it was 'going to happen today, he isn't going to live through today.' She told me to call Anna and tell her and that my parents were on their way up. I got drunk that day. Luke had been planning on coming over and we had been planning on going to Birch Run, so he came over and we went around 5. I hadn't really had someone close to me pass away. I went to Lansing for the next 3 days. I love the power of family and my family. I know he is so much happier now, in heaven and not in pain anymore, but my grandma is now living in the past. I love her to death and I hope she is ok today. She was married to him for like 60 years! I would hope someday I could say that. I don't know why I just felt like I needed to write about this. Anyways, love you Grandpa.

I am ok, I just had a moment of oh this was the day. Didn't mean to bring anyone down but I wanted to write about it.
I went to my parents last night for mother's day because I had to work on Sunday. It was me, my mom, Danielle and Darren. We had steak and chicken, green beans, salad, baked pot. It was all delicious. I gave my mom a flowering hanging basket, that is usually what I get her for the day. That day was hard for Darren and my friend, Stace and my mom is awesome so I didn't want to miss celebrating with her. We got home and I watched the rest of ANTM, which I was happy with because I liked Danielle, then American Idol, which I was kind of bummed because I liked Yammin, I tried to vote for him on Tuesday. Then Top Chef where I was annoyed because I like Dave. He was such a freak out. I had ice cream, bad! It was so good. I have exercised every day this week but I haven't seen any weight come off, probably because I'm still eating. I haven't had fast food so that is good.....my friend here is very motivated now so that makes me motivated. Every spare minute she has she's like 'you want to go for a short walk?' sure anything to help me feel better. Tonight I might go to the movies, I have free passes. But I really like to just hang out at home when I don't have to work at Panera.