Plan

What is the plan for me? I think that everything happens for a reason and that there is a plan for me. I wish I just knew what it was now. When I was younger I didn't really worry about it because I was busy doing new things. There are new things to still do but now I'm wondering more if I am ever going to get out of this place? I kind of feel like I used to in middle school, dread. When I wake up in the morning I feel dread at having to get up. Once I get going I'm ok but the initial reaction is damn it! The new 'Ed' is more ruthless than the first one. Always wanting to be in your business and keeping secrets and making themselves feel important. I have ceased to talk to 'Ed the 2nd'. Pretty sad but that is what happens when someone thinks that they will move up here by becoming something else. Not at this place. Am I going to become a dietician? Am I going to quit selling the bagels and giving all my energy to that place? Am I ever going to get to the gym? And am I ever going to find out what the hell is wrong with my leg? It went away for like 3 months and now it is back. Going from light pain to I need to grab the counter pain. I kind of found today if I push down on the floor with my leg when it is going on that it kind of makes it ease up. Maybe it is because I am not working out anymore and the muscle is screaming at me. I don't know.

I woke up freaking out last night because I had a bad dream. I don't remember where I was but we were talking about some sort of criminal case and killers or something. And I had to leave so I got in my car and started driving but I then realized that the passenger window was open, as I start to look in my rearview mirror I see someone getting up from the back, I tried to turn the car around and I was so scared. I was screaming out in my sleep because Darren was like 'hey hey hey, are you ok? What's wrong?' He thought it was my leg but no I was just freaked out. I was glad to wake up from that one. But I still had a fearful feeling stay for a little while.

It's only 1:15, ugh. Tonight I don't have to work at Panera, glorious. I want to take a nap. Yesterday was tiring with trying to stand on one leg a certain way it made it really tired.

Tiki's sucked on Saturday for those of you that didn't go. Next time remind me to ask if it is 18 and older! I thought since it was a party that it would be 21 and older. No. I haven't seen it so busy in there at 10 ever. It took us about 25 minutes to get drinks and by that time it was almost 10:40, Jackie was pissed at this asshole bartender for passing her over about 50 times and then having the nerve to say everyone else was waiting that long too. We didn't even get our bottle of champagne. You could barely walk through all the people. So we drank what we had gotten and left to go to Teddy's. Luke said there were ugly girls there, I had a fine time but I was tired so I had to put some effort in to it. Then we went to Mcdonald's because Luke doesn't like W.C.! we wanted B.K. but it was closed already :( With the time change we went to bed around 4.