Insecure

Now I know that on the 'love me, hate me' it is really hard to do. I had the hardest time doing them and I didn't want to. I looked at mine and 100% said I was insecure and unhappy. I think I agree with both of them. I used to be so secure. I need to change a lot of things to get that way again. One of them is going to be eating healthier. I am seriously going to try and do that. No more frickin white castle during the week ( maybe if I am wasted and I have lack of judgement), I'm going to start bringing my lunch to work and NOT eating a bagel for breakfast. Yogurt and fruit. Hopefully I will get this new job and I will be able to only have one job and I will go back to the gym. That is another thing that will make me more secure in myself. Why does it have to be weight!!!! It is SO annoying. I look at older pictures and I'm like wow, I thought I was big then, when I was my littlelest. I think I just made up a word. I don't care. Now I'm like wow I looked good then, you never see that when it is you. Beckie looks awesome and Jessica does too! I hope that they recognize that and don't forget that even if they don't think so, they look fabulous!
I'm unhappy for the same reasons, weight, job, maybe relationship?? I don't want to get in to that and I don't want any comments, it is something that I have to figure out by myself. But they are all changeable things and I have to work on myself to get back the confidence, happiness and silliness that I used to have. So bare with me. It is a work in progress, thanks everyone for being my friend, sister, and an ear to hear me! I need all I can get. Thanks!